I just finished reading Speak, a novel by Laurie Halse Anderson about a 14 year old girl named Melinda who is an outcast in high school after an incident that occurred over the summer which I will not reveal here and spoil. If you have not yet read this book, please do. This book does not contain fairies, vampires, werewolves or angels. What it does contain is far more frightening as it brings you back into that intensely uncomfortable skin we may have worn as teenagers.
I sobbed at several parts of the book and, no, I did not have the same experience as Melinda but I did have the isolation, awkwardness, and loneliness. I was bullied and made fun of relentlessly and I specifically remember being in the gymnasiam in elementary school where everyone was signing yearbooks and almost no one signed mine.
Which brings me to my last point. Bullies. I was bullied. They exist in every generation from the Cleavers to the world that our children currently live in. I wish I could blink my eyes like a genie and make them all disappear, but I do not have that ability. What I can hopefully provide a child who thinks death is better than being bullied is this.... persepective:
All the kids who made fun of me in elementary school are now "Facebook friends." We all casually keep up with each other's lives and all the hurts have been healed. And my primary bully is said to have somewhere around 5-6 daughters which I find to be perfect revenge for him.
Look for the signs in your own children that something is causing them to withdraw. Please remember; it is just as important to listen to what your child does NOT say as what they do.
Dear Laura,
I read your post and was very sad. Where was I ??? I never realized. I am so sorry. I know some of the issues you had as a young girl - your bad tooth - due to an accident when you were a baby. My fault - left you with a neighbor !! But to me, you were always beautiful on the inside and out.
Love you -
Mom
Posted by: Martha Farruggio | November 16, 2010 at 12:21 PM
My only Gr. Son's first year in high school & it started off on a good & bad note. Good, being he has his 1st girl friend. Bad, because of that fact, he was being bullied. Heartrending! I've thought about it, and I think it may be nearly as hard to witness, as it is to go through...speaking as a Mother & Grandmother. Fortunately, he did not keep it hidden, and his family was there to guide, console, whatever it would take to see him through. Even a trip to the school disciplinarian can be helpful. I'm glad to say that things seem to be much better now, and my G.S. is looking forward to that first high school dance.
Now I sit here and wait for life's next curve ball. *sigh* Maybe one day I will be able to bring myself to read this book.
Always enjoy your posts doll!
Posted by: Faye~fayezeewayzee | October 19, 2010 at 08:57 AM
I started to read Speak over 5 years ago, but I never finished it. I don't remember why I walked away from it, but maybe it's time to pick it back up.
Posted by: Patty Conway | October 18, 2010 at 01:38 PM
I haven't read this book yet (slaps my own hand), but it is a favorite of my sister and Avery.
Posted by: Sara | October 18, 2010 at 11:45 AM